What's on your mind.............
OK, so this post is probably more about me and my struggle to control some habits that I personally think may a bit excessive. It's not a judgment towards people that use social networks even though I do have my opinion on how people use these things for negative purposes. I do know that most things can be good, when done in moderation so, all though I don't think I need a complete detox, I am striving for some moderation. I am talking about social networking, emailing, and internet surfing. We can also throw texting and blackberry messaging in the mix as well.
Exactly when does something positive become negative?
I will be the first to admit that I am an avid user of facebook and all though I don't keep count of how many times I get on facebook a day, it's plenty enough.
I will break it down: Yesterday, I posted 5 status updates, 1 picture, 3 comments, and 5 pic comments. Some may think that's excessive and I know it's a lot less than others. But, that's not really my point. I know I have formed this "habit" of checking my facebook and I probably do it too much for my own good (and for others.) For me facebook can be a rock and hard place. I live 2 hours away from most all of my family and friends so it's a quick, easy, and convenient way to keep in touch. Most of my time is spent communicating with the people that I am close to and if I could I would see on a daily basis. Facebook gives us that ability through the miles and I have to admit, I love that. It also gives me a connection to distant family and old friends. And in most cases I wouldn't see until a family reunion or hadn't talked to since high school or longer. I have made new and old connections and the people that I choose to communicate with generally bring some positivity to the experience. And all though I don't really think all 372 of my friends really care that "I am looking forward to Tony's yummy dinner." It is what was on my mind at that moment and it's just an extra way of telling Tony I love his cooking. But, I am certain I was able to tell him to his face as well. Post on fb can be used for so many things. I love posting our pics. I mean, it's just the same as if your friends came to your house and started looking at the pictures on your fridge, walls, frames, and albums. But in my case most people live to far away to see us on a regular basis so we get to stay up to date with our family. I know it brings my heart happiness when I can see their pictures and I think it does the same to share ours. If it was up to my mom she would see Leityn every day but since she can't, she has that option via facebook and I think that's a positive thing. My problem is that it is more of a habit than a necessity. My biggest downfall is having the fb app on my cell phone because I have constant access to it. Before that, I would only log on when I was conveniently at the computer. Most of the time, it fills up free/bored time (which isn't much) but times like riding in the car, waiting at the drs office, waiting for dinner to get done. But because it is right there on my phone I catch myself checking it often. Then I get sucked in, I am sure you know the cycle. Even though most of the people in my life are on facebook, they don't utilize it near as much as I do and so I am certain it becomes annoying to them as well. Not much different from any other bad habit that needs to be broke. When the results of something are negative, then I know doing it is no longer working for me. For me, I am easily distracted by this and I do think at certain times that distraction takes me away from living in the moment and enjoy the people and things around me. I know it's simply RUDE! And I am guilty of it.
Another negative is that my work and personal email comes directly to my phone. Most of the time it's not something that needs immediate attention but I still have the habit of reading the email and if at all possible, quickly responding. Sometimes it's emails from work that I can't do anything about at that moment. But once I read it, the issue is on my mind. I know I need to set the boundary and not cross it for my own sake. I know these things can wait and when I cross the boundary and make them seem more important than the people or things around me, I know it's just simply RUDE. And I am guilty of it.
Yes, I am the habitual texter/messenger. If I could carry on every conversation via text, I just might. I know it is informal, distance, and some times rude. But, I have succumbed to the convince, simplicity, and most of all I can be in control of my conversation when engaging with others. I hate to admit that but I have found a comfort in not having a in-the-moment, on-the-spot conversation. And being able to think about what I say as well as soak in what is being said before responding. Yes, this is a negative especially because I like to think I have very good communication skills. And steering away from that is just selling myself short. But not only that, I know that my texting when done at inappropriate times can effect the people around me, I will not list all the reasons why but I know it's just simply RUDE! And I am guilty of it.
Now I just have to point out another side of social networking, the dark side. When people use these sites/emails/texts for negative social interaction, it's another issue. I will admit that I don't personally talk to all 372 of my friends but I do know that I only requested or approved every one of these people because I had some liking or personal interest in them and their well-being. But when people "pretend" to befriend you on facebook so that they have access to your profile and think they can use this information for personal gain, they are wrong and they ruin this experience for a lot of people. So I am very conscious about who I approved and my profile stays private because of this. When people "pretend" to be your friend and then they use the things you say or the pictures you post to turn against you. And they say hurtful, judgmental, invalid things to you and they can do so openly on your page for others to see because they are your "friends." They are wrong and they ruin this experience for a lot of people. Just like in life, when I realize that people aren't really my friend and they have brought negativity into my life, I usually stop associating with them. So there is the "remove from friends" button for facebook. When people who are on your friends list but are nothing but negative and have nothing good to say at all, I don't care to here the negative drama. So most of the time I will remove them as well. It is just the same for the people in my life that call and never have anything good to say. I can assure you that I don't go out of my way to have regular conversation or text) with these people. I could keep going about people that bully via these sites, especially teenagers. People that cheat via these sites. People that post nasty pictures via these sites and on and on.
The bottom line is I think the same morals and values that we apply to every day life should also apply to these sites. Treat others with respect. If you don't have anything good to say to me or about me don't take the time to say anything at all. Positive thinking promotes positive living. Love thy neighbor and many, many more. If we all tried to remember these things, everyone may have a better experience on and off line.
Most importantly for me, I know that I need to make a point to be conscious of these habits and only utilize things like this when it's not taking my attention away from whats going on around me. No matter what it is, facebook, emails, tv, ect. it is up to me to make the people around me know that they are what matters MOST in my life. And that they DESERVE my undivided attention at all times. And last but not least, I LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART and I want them to know this not only via my facebook page but in person as well.
