What a year it was!
It proved to be the most life changing, extraordinary, revealing year of my life.
Here's my Top Five Highlights of 2010, not in any particular order.....
*Becoming a Mother.
*Continuing my healthy relationship with Tony.
*Family vacation with my Mother and Father together (first time since I was a young child.)
*Experiencing all of Leityn's first.
*Pursuing a deeper relationship with God, being baptized, and committing myself to School of Discipleship and fasting in 2011.
Of course, becoming a mother on the 3rd day of the year set the tone for the 362 days that followed. I spent most of my year enthralled in our sweet Leityn bug. I always knew I wanted to be a mother. And I always knew I wanted a boy (first). But I had no idea my heart could feel the things it’s felt since Leityn arrived. I was so scared when we first found out I was pregnant. I spent a good part of 2009 worrying about things like financially raising a child, being two hours away from family, having to be a working mother, and just being able to give myself completely to another person. I prepared our home and my mind for his arrival. I knew exactly how I wanted to do certain things that would set the tone for his nourishing growth. There towards the end of 2009 a very quite calm came over me and I knew that if I trusted myself and my child to God, we would be okay no matter money, distance, separation anxiety and without a doubt we were already so connected I had no trouble giving myself to him. My worries were gone. And like most mothers, I quickly realized nothing happened the way I prepared for it. But being his mother, taking care of him, loving him, nurturing him, calming him, and creating a comfortable environment for him to flourish in all came naturally to me from the first moment. I realized like all relationships, this one would not be perfect. I accepted that I couldn't take things personally and this was a learning curve for us both. I agreed that I wouldn't compare my child to other children, because he is his own self and will do things his own way. I figured out that I may second guess myself for the rest of his life. I decided that personal opinions from others where just that, and I didn't have to listen if I didn't want to because I know best for my child. And I continue to be amazed that my motherly intuition is generally the best answer for us all (which takes care of the initial second guessing.) But best of all I have realized in having the willingness to wholeheartedly give myself to my son, I am the one that reaps endless rewards. I always considered myself a pretty selfish person. But, I must admit that jumping feet first into parenting and knowing when I wake in the morning I have to do what is best for my child has just come natural to me. Nothing about parenting is easy. There is no real book you can read that will tell you exactly what you need to know. And I learn something new every day. But I do believe if you put your heart into it, it can be the best thing you have ever experienced. It has been for me anyways.
I have to say that all of this has been easier for me because I have an amazing teammate. For the first time in my life I am the other half of a healthily, exciting, emotional, and joyful relationship. Meeting Tony was one of the happiest times of my life. And the fact that we have spent this year growing closer and further committing ourselves to another and to Leityn has been wonderful. I know I brag on him a lot but that is because I know he is rare and I know how lucky I am that I get to share my life with him. It's not every day that you find a man that loves to cook, do laundry, wash dishes, change diapers, clean the car, and all those other household duties we usually have to beg a man to do. He's always willing and ready when I need him. And most of you know, he is an amazing cook. I mean I love to cook myself, but when I realized I enjoyed his food more and I got to relax while he was in the kitchen; it was like a two for one deal. But, I don't just love him for all the things he does for me. He is my best friend. We always say "not only do I love you, but I like you as well." He respects me as a person and as a woman. He strives for my well-being. There are not too many things about Tony I dislike. When we are together I feel like a teenager again. We still get excited when we see each other and miss one another when we are away. We have fun together, we share the same interest, and we want the same things in life. I can hardly put into words what an amazing father he is to Leityn. To see the bond between a father and son is amazing but they truly are best buddies. I told him the other day that I think Leityn likes him more than me, he agreed. He does what it takes to ensure that Leityn and I are taken care of each and every day. And most importantly, he puts God first. I pray to God that He continues to lead us in our relationship and before long we can honor our love before him and spend the rest of our lives making one another happy.
I have written about hitting a rough patch earlier in the year and that ultimately lead me to pursue a deeper relationship with God. And that has been very life changing for me. I feels good to have so much confidence in my relationship with God and know in my heart that all the things listed above are because of Him and his son, Jesus Christ. Being baptized in water and by the Holy Ghost the day before my 30th birthday was the most spiritual experience of my life. It's hard to put something like that into words. But I do know without a doubt that My God loves me and that he sent his son Jesus to make all of this possible. And despite my past mistakes and the ones I will make in the future, as long as I seek him I will receive his loving Grace in return. We have committed to the 12-week School of Discipleship at Free Chapel, and I am looking forward to experiencing this with Tony and Lindsey. We are also going to start our first 21-day fast with the church on the 9th. And I am emotionally prepared for this to be physically challenging, while spiritually connecting with God in ways I've never experienced before.
The past year was exciting all around. I got to go on family vacation with my mother and father and the rest of the family, for the first time since I was little. And I don't know if they will ever know how much that meant to us. I'm just grateful that my parents and step parents are able to put the past aside for a bright future as a family. This year has brought me closer to so many in my family and made me realize the true friendships I am so lucky to have. I know having Leityn brought a new brightness to our family and it feels so good seeing all the love everyone has for him. It's been another year of "just making it" financially. But, we never go without the things we need and most always have the things we want as well. We were able to do a lot of traveling to be with our family and friends. We had a few special trips that made our work weeks worth it. There were several months of sickness, dealing with my dental issues and Leityn being since through December. But all in all, we are all healthy. I know so many that have it worse than us so in moments that we aren't feeling well I just try to draw strength from the ones fighting a harder battle than us.
2011 is upon us and without a doubt or worry in my heart I am trusting, seeking, and praying for great things to happen for us. I really can't remember a year in the past when I was so excited about the things to come. I am not planning on getting rich, I am not planning on traveling the world, I am not planning on meeting someone famous. But I am planning to live everyday in God's will to the best of my ability. I am planning to seek God's word and apply it to my life. I am planning to center my family, finances, and future in God so that no matter what trials or tribulations we face this year and beyond, He will carry us through the storm of life.
It proved to be the most life changing, extraordinary, revealing year of my life.
Here's my Top Five Highlights of 2010, not in any particular order.....
*Becoming a Mother.
*Continuing my healthy relationship with Tony.
*Family vacation with my Mother and Father together (first time since I was a young child.)
*Experiencing all of Leityn's first.
*Pursuing a deeper relationship with God, being baptized, and committing myself to School of Discipleship and fasting in 2011.
Of course, becoming a mother on the 3rd day of the year set the tone for the 362 days that followed. I spent most of my year enthralled in our sweet Leityn bug. I always knew I wanted to be a mother. And I always knew I wanted a boy (first). But I had no idea my heart could feel the things it’s felt since Leityn arrived. I was so scared when we first found out I was pregnant. I spent a good part of 2009 worrying about things like financially raising a child, being two hours away from family, having to be a working mother, and just being able to give myself completely to another person. I prepared our home and my mind for his arrival. I knew exactly how I wanted to do certain things that would set the tone for his nourishing growth. There towards the end of 2009 a very quite calm came over me and I knew that if I trusted myself and my child to God, we would be okay no matter money, distance, separation anxiety and without a doubt we were already so connected I had no trouble giving myself to him. My worries were gone. And like most mothers, I quickly realized nothing happened the way I prepared for it. But being his mother, taking care of him, loving him, nurturing him, calming him, and creating a comfortable environment for him to flourish in all came naturally to me from the first moment. I realized like all relationships, this one would not be perfect. I accepted that I couldn't take things personally and this was a learning curve for us both. I agreed that I wouldn't compare my child to other children, because he is his own self and will do things his own way. I figured out that I may second guess myself for the rest of his life. I decided that personal opinions from others where just that, and I didn't have to listen if I didn't want to because I know best for my child. And I continue to be amazed that my motherly intuition is generally the best answer for us all (which takes care of the initial second guessing.) But best of all I have realized in having the willingness to wholeheartedly give myself to my son, I am the one that reaps endless rewards. I always considered myself a pretty selfish person. But, I must admit that jumping feet first into parenting and knowing when I wake in the morning I have to do what is best for my child has just come natural to me. Nothing about parenting is easy. There is no real book you can read that will tell you exactly what you need to know. And I learn something new every day. But I do believe if you put your heart into it, it can be the best thing you have ever experienced. It has been for me anyways.
I have to say that all of this has been easier for me because I have an amazing teammate. For the first time in my life I am the other half of a healthily, exciting, emotional, and joyful relationship. Meeting Tony was one of the happiest times of my life. And the fact that we have spent this year growing closer and further committing ourselves to another and to Leityn has been wonderful. I know I brag on him a lot but that is because I know he is rare and I know how lucky I am that I get to share my life with him. It's not every day that you find a man that loves to cook, do laundry, wash dishes, change diapers, clean the car, and all those other household duties we usually have to beg a man to do. He's always willing and ready when I need him. And most of you know, he is an amazing cook. I mean I love to cook myself, but when I realized I enjoyed his food more and I got to relax while he was in the kitchen; it was like a two for one deal. But, I don't just love him for all the things he does for me. He is my best friend. We always say "not only do I love you, but I like you as well." He respects me as a person and as a woman. He strives for my well-being. There are not too many things about Tony I dislike. When we are together I feel like a teenager again. We still get excited when we see each other and miss one another when we are away. We have fun together, we share the same interest, and we want the same things in life. I can hardly put into words what an amazing father he is to Leityn. To see the bond between a father and son is amazing but they truly are best buddies. I told him the other day that I think Leityn likes him more than me, he agreed. He does what it takes to ensure that Leityn and I are taken care of each and every day. And most importantly, he puts God first. I pray to God that He continues to lead us in our relationship and before long we can honor our love before him and spend the rest of our lives making one another happy.
I have written about hitting a rough patch earlier in the year and that ultimately lead me to pursue a deeper relationship with God. And that has been very life changing for me. I feels good to have so much confidence in my relationship with God and know in my heart that all the things listed above are because of Him and his son, Jesus Christ. Being baptized in water and by the Holy Ghost the day before my 30th birthday was the most spiritual experience of my life. It's hard to put something like that into words. But I do know without a doubt that My God loves me and that he sent his son Jesus to make all of this possible. And despite my past mistakes and the ones I will make in the future, as long as I seek him I will receive his loving Grace in return. We have committed to the 12-week School of Discipleship at Free Chapel, and I am looking forward to experiencing this with Tony and Lindsey. We are also going to start our first 21-day fast with the church on the 9th. And I am emotionally prepared for this to be physically challenging, while spiritually connecting with God in ways I've never experienced before.
The past year was exciting all around. I got to go on family vacation with my mother and father and the rest of the family, for the first time since I was little. And I don't know if they will ever know how much that meant to us. I'm just grateful that my parents and step parents are able to put the past aside for a bright future as a family. This year has brought me closer to so many in my family and made me realize the true friendships I am so lucky to have. I know having Leityn brought a new brightness to our family and it feels so good seeing all the love everyone has for him. It's been another year of "just making it" financially. But, we never go without the things we need and most always have the things we want as well. We were able to do a lot of traveling to be with our family and friends. We had a few special trips that made our work weeks worth it. There were several months of sickness, dealing with my dental issues and Leityn being since through December. But all in all, we are all healthy. I know so many that have it worse than us so in moments that we aren't feeling well I just try to draw strength from the ones fighting a harder battle than us.
2011 is upon us and without a doubt or worry in my heart I am trusting, seeking, and praying for great things to happen for us. I really can't remember a year in the past when I was so excited about the things to come. I am not planning on getting rich, I am not planning on traveling the world, I am not planning on meeting someone famous. But I am planning to live everyday in God's will to the best of my ability. I am planning to seek God's word and apply it to my life. I am planning to center my family, finances, and future in God so that no matter what trials or tribulations we face this year and beyond, He will carry us through the storm of life.
"For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome."
- Jeremiah 29: 11
Happy 2011 to All.
