I am a little late writing this blog but it's been a busy few weeks. During the month of January we spent 21-days on a spiritual fast with other members of Free Chapel and all around the world. For the first three days we were on liquids only, then we converted to the Daniel Fast. A spiritual fast is supposed to be a private matter that brings public reward so I didn't want to write my blog while I was in the midst of the experience. I don't really think any words would ever be able to fully describe the things I felt and experienced during this time. I know in the beginning it took structure and self-discipline that I didn't believe I had in myself. But what I did have was the willingness to seek God in my life, through this experience. And through my willingness came the motivation, structure, and self-discipline that doesn't come naturally to me. These 21 days where a huge success and only because God carried me through. While I was fasting I was seeking God's DEFINED DIRECTION for my life. At the beginning of the fast I went to God and presented to him specific desires of my heart. I laid them all before Him and said these are the things I need your help with, these are the things that are in my heart, these are the things only you can change, and most importantly I wanted His will to be revealed in my life like never before. I asked for specific breakthroughs from emotional baggage that I was holding onto tightly and continued to effect my life in negative ways. I asked for guidance and direction for certain relationships in my life. I asked for His help to remove certain character defects that continued to burden my behavior. I asked for financial guidance in our home. I asked Him to reveal to my what His plan was for my life. I prayed continuously for the health and healing for the sick, especially Leityn and all he had experienced in recent months. I prayed to God for the salvation of family members that don't know His love and grace. I asked God to guide us as parents and give us the strength we needed to direct Leityn to Him and away from the worldly things. And most importantly I sought Him to open up my heart so that I may feel His presence like never before.
I realized quickly that fasting isn't about what you do or don't eat. Although this is the main action you take when you declare you are going to fast, the important aspect is you become willing to sacrifice certain things in your life in order to feel closer to God. Prior to the fast we read Jentezen Franklin's book, Fasting (http://www.jentezenfranklin.org/fasting) and it really helped us understand the biblical connection to fasting, what we were doing, and how we should be doing it. The best part was we were able to go to Free Chapel each week and be filled with the Holy Spirirt as we shared our time of fasting with so many others that were doing the same thing. Not only was most of the church fasting but it is a world-wide movement, so millions were experiencing this together. Some of the services we attended where beyond amazing. And the church also gave us the support of fasting blogs from the pastors, a 21-day study guide, online video's the pastor recorded from Jerusalem, and communication with other members that were going strong as well. I am grateful we were able to be a part of Fasting Movement 2011. Our diet was strict and I can happily say that we didn't cheat once. As far as the food we ate, it did feel good to see that I was able to set a goal and stick to it. Being able to fully complete a task is great motivation for your self-esteem. But not only did I fast from food but I also fasted from other worldly things that take my time away from my life and those around me. I spent a week without being on facebook. I spent less time watching tv in the evenings. I tried to focus more on family time, reading God's word, and seeking Him in prayer and meditation. All of these were a challenge in their own way but for the most part we were successful as we could be.
We ended the fast on Sunday, January 30th with a Miracle Prayer service at church. It was a spiritual service were we spent time in prayer for all the miracles people had been seeking God during the fast and we were all anointed with oil. After spending that Friday night in the ER with Leityn running a high fever and sick again, I felt this was an amazing way to end the fast and just in time for his pending surgery on the 3rd. So there we were in service and once again I came to God with all the desires of my heart. And I knew and still know, without a doubt that God is working miracles in our lives every single day. I know I don't have to refrain from eating meat to feel close to God. But at the end of those 21 days, I had an awareness and respect for my personal connection with God that I never experienced before. I was able to feel that connection, motivation, and fire that Daniel must have felt when he knew he was stronger without the King's food and all he need was the strength that God infused in his spirit. The world around us is so full of sin and evil, and I know as a Christian it's not easy living in God's divine light because of all the worldly temptations. I was able to feel a sense of the sacrifice Jesus Christ experienced those forty days and nights in the wilderness, where the devil came and tempted him but he withstood his evil. Never before has a Pizza Hut or Red Lobster commercial looked so good. So, the fast did bring to my life an awareness of the biblical times and the sacrifices people in Christian history experienced for my life today.
Since the fast, life has changed dramatically. I don't want to sit here and make out a list of all the things I expected God to do in my life and check off the ones He's done so far, because that's not what it is about. But I know without a doubt that He listened to the desires of my heart. He heard my cries to him, my pleading to remove what evil had placed in my life, help me with the struggles I have in my heart, and strengthen me through Jesus Christ to live the life He has planned for me. Just three days after the end of the fast, Leityn had a very successful surgery and hasn't been sick since that last visit to the ER. He is so much happier and continues to thrive into toddler-hood. Several weeks ago I woke up and it was literally as if God had come into my room that night and lifted some specific burdens off of my heart. There were some things I just couldn't let go of before. I woke up and I was hit with so much clarity regarding this situation and at that moment I knew exactly why I was holding onto it and exactly what I had to do to fully let go and finally let God. The burden is not completely gone but I have taken the steps to ensure it will no longer burden my heart or life as it was. Freedom from resentment and anger is a great feeling. In the past few weeks,Tony and I were able to pay off some bills and put some money in the bank which feels very good. In even better news, last Sunday we were engaged to be married and have our wedding date set for May 28th. There is no greater feeling than knowing in just a few months we will be a confirmed family of three in the eyes of God. And on Thursday, I got my acceptance letter to Gainesville State College and will be starting classes in June. Talk about God giving us some DEFINED DIRECTION for our lives, I don't know if it gets any more defined than He has made it so far. But best of, I know that all of these things are possible through God and the sacrifices His son Jesus Christ made for me. Through His love and grace, I was given a second chance to live the life He wrote for me. And through praying, fasting, and giving, that is the BEST gift of all.
I realized quickly that fasting isn't about what you do or don't eat. Although this is the main action you take when you declare you are going to fast, the important aspect is you become willing to sacrifice certain things in your life in order to feel closer to God. Prior to the fast we read Jentezen Franklin's book, Fasting (http://www.jentezenfranklin.org/fasting) and it really helped us understand the biblical connection to fasting, what we were doing, and how we should be doing it. The best part was we were able to go to Free Chapel each week and be filled with the Holy Spirirt as we shared our time of fasting with so many others that were doing the same thing. Not only was most of the church fasting but it is a world-wide movement, so millions were experiencing this together. Some of the services we attended where beyond amazing. And the church also gave us the support of fasting blogs from the pastors, a 21-day study guide, online video's the pastor recorded from Jerusalem, and communication with other members that were going strong as well. I am grateful we were able to be a part of Fasting Movement 2011. Our diet was strict and I can happily say that we didn't cheat once. As far as the food we ate, it did feel good to see that I was able to set a goal and stick to it. Being able to fully complete a task is great motivation for your self-esteem. But not only did I fast from food but I also fasted from other worldly things that take my time away from my life and those around me. I spent a week without being on facebook. I spent less time watching tv in the evenings. I tried to focus more on family time, reading God's word, and seeking Him in prayer and meditation. All of these were a challenge in their own way but for the most part we were successful as we could be.
We ended the fast on Sunday, January 30th with a Miracle Prayer service at church. It was a spiritual service were we spent time in prayer for all the miracles people had been seeking God during the fast and we were all anointed with oil. After spending that Friday night in the ER with Leityn running a high fever and sick again, I felt this was an amazing way to end the fast and just in time for his pending surgery on the 3rd. So there we were in service and once again I came to God with all the desires of my heart. And I knew and still know, without a doubt that God is working miracles in our lives every single day. I know I don't have to refrain from eating meat to feel close to God. But at the end of those 21 days, I had an awareness and respect for my personal connection with God that I never experienced before. I was able to feel that connection, motivation, and fire that Daniel must have felt when he knew he was stronger without the King's food and all he need was the strength that God infused in his spirit. The world around us is so full of sin and evil, and I know as a Christian it's not easy living in God's divine light because of all the worldly temptations. I was able to feel a sense of the sacrifice Jesus Christ experienced those forty days and nights in the wilderness, where the devil came and tempted him but he withstood his evil. Never before has a Pizza Hut or Red Lobster commercial looked so good. So, the fast did bring to my life an awareness of the biblical times and the sacrifices people in Christian history experienced for my life today.
Since the fast, life has changed dramatically. I don't want to sit here and make out a list of all the things I expected God to do in my life and check off the ones He's done so far, because that's not what it is about. But I know without a doubt that He listened to the desires of my heart. He heard my cries to him, my pleading to remove what evil had placed in my life, help me with the struggles I have in my heart, and strengthen me through Jesus Christ to live the life He has planned for me. Just three days after the end of the fast, Leityn had a very successful surgery and hasn't been sick since that last visit to the ER. He is so much happier and continues to thrive into toddler-hood. Several weeks ago I woke up and it was literally as if God had come into my room that night and lifted some specific burdens off of my heart. There were some things I just couldn't let go of before. I woke up and I was hit with so much clarity regarding this situation and at that moment I knew exactly why I was holding onto it and exactly what I had to do to fully let go and finally let God. The burden is not completely gone but I have taken the steps to ensure it will no longer burden my heart or life as it was. Freedom from resentment and anger is a great feeling. In the past few weeks,Tony and I were able to pay off some bills and put some money in the bank which feels very good. In even better news, last Sunday we were engaged to be married and have our wedding date set for May 28th. There is no greater feeling than knowing in just a few months we will be a confirmed family of three in the eyes of God. And on Thursday, I got my acceptance letter to Gainesville State College and will be starting classes in June. Talk about God giving us some DEFINED DIRECTION for our lives, I don't know if it gets any more defined than He has made it so far. But best of, I know that all of these things are possible through God and the sacrifices His son Jesus Christ made for me. Through His love and grace, I was given a second chance to live the life He wrote for me. And through praying, fasting, and giving, that is the BEST gift of all.
