Resilience is defined as the ability to recover from or adjust easily to significant adversity, trauma, tragedy, stress or misfortune. After traveling down the paths I have traveled as a child, a teenager, a young adult, a woman in recovery, and now a mother, I know one thing to be true;
Resilience is Relevant!
I never make New Year’s resolutions. But I do set
personal goals for the year ahead.
I have a few this year and here are some of
the more important ones:
~ Complete the 21 day fast starting Jan. 8th.
~ Read the Bible in chronological order in 365 days.
~ Blog every few days (at least once a week.)
~ Become more active in our small group.
~ Spend more time with my grandfather, two grandmothers, and two great
grandmothers while I still can.
~ Get caught up on and stay current with Leityn’s yearly
memory boxes and scrapbooks (I have resorted to the online version at this point.)
~ Save. Save. Save..... (Time and Money)
Top of Form
January 1 via mobile
(A few days behind on posting.)
2011
was such a blessed year there is no doubt that God hand his hands over our
lives the entire year.
My Top
Highlights of 2011, not in any particular order
·Completing my first 21 day fast.
·Geting Engaged to my Best Friend and the Love of my Life.
·Planning our wedding and sticking to our budget.
·Our Wedding Day.
·Making a life changing decision, for Leityn’s future.
·Being accepted and beginning college, on a full grant.
Getting my new position at The Salvation Army and being able to keep my
position at Center Point.
·Relocating my family to Eatonton.
·Working every day to deepen my relationship with God.
Thank
You God for every moment you gave us in 2011.
The
good times that made us smile, the hard times that made us stronger, and the
blessings that showed us you are real! I will let you lead me through the next
365 days!
Welcome, family, friends and loved ones. We gather here today to celebrate the wedding of Jessica and Tony. You have come here to share in this formal commitment they make to one another, to offer your love and support to this union, and to allow Jessica and Tony to start their married life together surrounded by the people dearest and most important to them.
So welcome to one and all, which have traveled from near and far. Jessica and Tony thank you for your presence here today and now ask for your blessing, encouragement, and lifelong support, for their decision to be married.
Invocation
Eternal God, you have given us the need to love and to be loved and the capacity for both. We pray that you will bless the love which Jessica and Tony proclaim today, and that their love and care for each other may ever deepen. We pray that they may face life’s cares and trials with love and understanding in their caring for one another; and that the life they live may be one of enduring love. Grant, we pray that their life may be a guide and inspiration to those around them, and be with them as they live together in this holy covenant, from this time forth and through all their days. Amen.
The Art of Marriage
by Wilferd A. Peterson
The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,
but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
Song “Hold You Up”
Scripture Reading Ephesians 3:14-19
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and earth derives its name, I pray that our of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Homily
Wedding Vows
Tony: Jessica, you are a gift to me from God and today, I ask you to be my wife. And through God’s love and grace, I make this commitment to you:
With God as my guide, I humbly open my heart to you as a sanctuary of warmth and peace, where you may always find a refuge of love and strength.
I will love you enough to risk being hurt, trust you when I don't understand. I will weep with you in heartache and celebrate life with you in joy.
I will respect you, encourage you, and cherish you.
As we stand together facing the world, I will walk hand and hand with you when life is good and through every storm.
And no matter what path we travel, always allowing God to be our leader.
Today, I pledge my love to you and to our family.
Jessica: Tony, you are a gift to me from God and today, I ask you to be my Husband. And through God’s love and grace, I make this commitment to you:
With God as my guide, I humbly open my heart to you as a sanctuary of warmth and peace, where you may always find a refuge of love and strength.
I will love you enough to risk being hurt, trust you when I don't understand. I will weep with you in heartache and celebrate life with you in joy.
I will respect you, encourage you, and cherish you.
As we stand together facing the world, I will walk hand and hand with you when life is good and through every storm.
And no matter what path we travel, always allowing God to be our leader.
Today, I pledge my love to you and to our family.
Exchange of Rings
Jessica, I join my life with yours today without hesitation and with an open and trusting heart. Whatever we may encounter, let us encounter it together. Take this ring, and with it my commitment to be the best Husband I can be. I honor you; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Tony, I join my life with yours today without hesitation and with an open and trusting heart. Whatever we may encounter, let us encounter it together. Take this ring, and with it my commitment to be the best Wife I can be. I honor you; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Blessing
Pronouncement of Marriage
You have declared your consent and vows before God and family and friends. May God confirm your covenant and fill you both with grace. Now that Tony and Jessica have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, with the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of rings, I announce to you that they are husband and wife together; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Those, whom God has joined together, let no one put asunder. Amen.
Kiss
Presentation
It is with great privilege and honor that I am able to present to you,
As most of you know we were engaged on February 13th, Valentine's Day weekend. I had thought about our wedding day many times before so I already had a vision in my mind. Once I started mentioning my ideas to Tony, we were quickly on the same page and by the end of the day we pretty much new when, where, and what type of wedding we wanted. So the planning started quickly and we pretty much have everything in order at this point. We are having a lakeside, sunset wedding on Lake Oconee with a "Romantic Country Picnic" themed reception to follow. After preparing the details of the ceremony and deciding on most of the decorations, flowers, music, and other things I am SO excited. And I know our day will be PREFECT!! But any prayers for good weather will be appreciated. I am grateful to have my mother and his mother that love doing this sort of thing to help. He picked up his suit on Friday and after 5 short minuets in Dillard's, I found the perfect dress on Saturday. I was having a hard time not showing Tony my dress so I took it to Lindz's house to remove the temptation. Still have to get Leityn's little suit and we will all three be ready to shine!! I've made a promise to myself (and others) that I am going to treat these wedding plans and the day of the wedding just like I do our relationship and keep it simple and enjoy it to the fullest. And despite what may go wrong along the way, I know what matters the most is becoming husband and wife and all the little details will work out!
We looked at our calendar yesterday and we have a busy 2 1/2 months ahead of us, with something planned almost every weekend. But it will all be worth it in the end. I am still working on the details for summer semester at Gainesville State. I meet with my advisor this week and if all goes as planned I will start classes a week after the wedding, on June 6th. The thought of a full schedule of work, school, family, and all the in between is a bit scary but anything worth having takes a risk and hard work, so I am prepared. Hopefully we will be honeymooning on the beach the week prior to classes so I can take a deep breath and relax before it all starts.
I can honestly say God continues to bless us and our life on a daily basis. Nothing is perfect, things happen and we have to deal with life as it comes our way. But, deep in my heart I have a feeling I've never felt before. A sense of security and foundation. A passion for myself, God, my family, my friends, and most importantly the awareness for all God has given me. For the first time ever, it feels amazing to be living my dreams instead of just dreaming of them!!! :)
Thank you so much for all the well wishes and blessings you have all sent for our engagement. We are very lucky to have such wonderful family and friends.
I am a little late writing this blog but it's been a busy few weeks. During the month of January we spent 21-days on a spiritual fast with other members of Free Chapel and all around the world. For the first three days we were on liquids only, then we converted to the Daniel Fast. A spiritual fast is supposed to be a private matter that brings public reward so I didn't want to write my blog while I was in the midst of the experience. I don't really think any words would ever be able to fully describe the things I felt and experienced during this time. I know in the beginning it took structure and self-discipline that I didn't believe I had in myself. But what I did have was the willingness to seek God in my life, through this experience. And through my willingness came the motivation, structure, and self-discipline that doesn't come naturally to me. These 21 days where a huge success and only because God carried me through. While I was fasting I was seeking God's DEFINED DIRECTION for my life. At the beginning of the fast I went to God and presented to him specific desires of my heart. I laid them all before Him and said these are the things I need your help with, these are the things that are in my heart, these are the things only you can change, and most importantly I wanted His will to be revealed in my life like never before. I asked for specific breakthroughs from emotional baggage that I was holding onto tightly and continued to effect my life in negative ways. I asked for guidance and direction for certain relationships in my life. I asked for His help to remove certain character defects that continued to burden my behavior. I asked for financial guidance in our home. I asked Him to reveal to my what His plan was for my life. I prayed continuously for the health and healing for the sick, especially Leityn and all he had experienced in recent months. I prayed to God for the salvation of family members that don't know His love and grace. I asked God to guide us as parents and give us the strength we needed to direct Leityn to Him and away from the worldly things. And most importantly I sought Him to open up my heart so that I may feel His presence like never before.
I realized quickly that fasting isn't about what you do or don't eat. Although this is the main action you take when you declare you are going to fast, the important aspect is you become willing to sacrifice certain things in your life in order to feel closer to God. Prior to the fast we read Jentezen Franklin's book, Fasting (http://www.jentezenfranklin.org/fasting) and it really helped us understand the biblical connection to fasting, what we were doing, and how we should be doing it. The best part was we were able to go to Free Chapel each week and be filled with the Holy Spirirt as we shared our time of fasting with so many others that were doing the same thing. Not only was most of the church fasting but it is a world-wide movement, so millions were experiencing this together. Some of the services we attended where beyond amazing. And the church also gave us the support of fasting blogs from the pastors, a 21-day study guide, online video's the pastor recorded from Jerusalem, and communication with other members that were going strong as well. I am grateful we were able to be a part of Fasting Movement 2011. Our diet was strict and I can happily say that we didn't cheat once. As far as the food we ate, it did feel good to see that I was able to set a goal and stick to it. Being able to fully complete a task is great motivation for your self-esteem. But not only did I fast from food but I also fasted from other worldly things that take my time away from my life and those around me. I spent a week without being on facebook. I spent less time watching tv in the evenings. I tried to focus more on family time, reading God's word, and seeking Him in prayer and meditation. All of these were a challenge in their own way but for the most part we were successful as we could be.
We ended the fast on Sunday, January 30th with a Miracle Prayer service at church. It was a spiritual service were we spent time in prayer for all the miracles people had been seeking God during the fast and we were all anointed with oil. After spending that Friday night in the ER with Leityn running a high fever and sick again, I felt this was an amazing way to end the fast and just in time for his pending surgery on the 3rd. So there we were in service and once again I came to God with all the desires of my heart. And I knew and still know, without a doubt that God is working miracles in our lives every single day. I know I don't have to refrain from eating meat to feel close to God. But at the end of those 21 days, I had an awareness and respect for my personal connection with God that I never experienced before. I was able to feel that connection, motivation, and fire that Daniel must have felt when he knew he was stronger without the King's food and all he need was the strength that God infused in his spirit. The world around us is so full of sin and evil, and I know as a Christian it's not easy living in God's divine light because of all the worldly temptations. I was able to feel a sense of the sacrifice Jesus Christ experienced those forty days and nights in the wilderness, where the devil came and tempted him but he withstood his evil. Never before has a Pizza Hut or Red Lobster commercial looked so good. So, the fast did bring to my life an awareness of the biblical times and the sacrifices people in Christian history experienced for my life today.
Since the fast, life has changed dramatically. I don't want to sit here and make out a list of all the things I expected God to do in my life and check off the ones He's done so far, because that's not what it is about. But I know without a doubt that He listened to the desires of my heart. He heard my cries to him, my pleading to remove what evil had placed in my life, help me with the struggles I have in my heart, and strengthen me through Jesus Christ to live the life He has planned for me. Just three days after the end of the fast, Leityn had a very successful surgery and hasn't been sick since that last visit to the ER. He is so much happier and continues to thrive into toddler-hood. Several weeks ago I woke up and it was literally as if God had come into my room that night and lifted some specific burdens off of my heart. There were some things I just couldn't let go of before. I woke up and I was hit with so much clarity regarding this situation and at that moment I knew exactly why I was holding onto it and exactly what I had to do to fully let go and finally let God. The burden is not completely gone but I have taken the steps to ensure it will no longer burden my heart or life as it was. Freedom from resentment and anger is a great feeling. In the past few weeks,Tony and I were able to pay off some bills and put some money in the bank which feels very good. In even better news, last Sunday we were engaged to be married and have our wedding date set for May 28th. There is no greater feeling than knowing in just a few months we will be a confirmed family of three in the eyes of God. And on Thursday, I got my acceptance letter to Gainesville State College and will be starting classes in June. Talk about God giving us some DEFINED DIRECTION for our lives, I don't know if it gets any more defined than He has made it so far. But best of, I know that all of these things are possible through God and the sacrifices His son Jesus Christ made for me. Through His love and grace, I was given a second chance to live the life He wrote for me. And through praying, fasting, and giving, that is the BEST gift of all.
May all that were fasting have amazing results like I have or to anyone considering it, may God bless you as well.
What a year it was!
It proved to be the most life changing, extraordinary, revealing year of my life.
Here's my Top Five Highlights of 2010, not in any particular order.....
*Becoming a Mother.
*Continuing my healthy relationship with Tony.
*Family vacation with my Mother and Father together (first time since I was a young child.)
*Experiencing all of Leityn's first.
*Pursuing a deeper relationship with God, being baptized, and committing myself to School of Discipleship and fasting in 2011.
Of course, becoming a mother on the 3rd day of the year set the tone for the 362 days that followed. I spent most of my year enthralled in our sweet Leityn bug. I always knew I wanted to be a mother. And I always knew I wanted a boy (first). But I had no idea my heart could feel the things it’s felt since Leityn arrived. I was so scared when we first found out I was pregnant. I spent a good part of 2009 worrying about things like financially raising a child, being two hours away from family, having to be a working mother, and just being able to give myself completely to another person. I prepared our home and my mind for his arrival. I knew exactly how I wanted to do certain things that would set the tone for his nourishing growth. There towards the end of 2009 a very quite calm came over me and I knew that if I trusted myself and my child to God, we would be okay no matter money, distance, separation anxiety and without a doubt we were already so connected I had no trouble giving myself to him. My worries were gone. And like most mothers, I quickly realized nothing happened the way I prepared for it. But being his mother, taking care of him, loving him, nurturing him, calming him, and creating a comfortable environment for him to flourish in all came naturally to me from the first moment. I realized like all relationships, this one would not be perfect. I accepted that I couldn't take things personally and this was a learning curve for us both. I agreed that I wouldn't compare my child to other children, because he is his own self and will do things his own way. I figured out that I may second guess myself for the rest of his life. I decided that personal opinions from others where just that, and I didn't have to listen if I didn't want to because I know best for my child. And I continue to be amazed that my motherly intuition is generally the best answer for us all (which takes care of the initial second guessing.) But best of all I have realized in having the willingness to wholeheartedly give myself to my son, I am the one that reaps endless rewards. I always considered myself a pretty selfish person. But, I must admit that jumping feet first into parenting and knowing when I wake in the morning I have to do what is best for my child has just come natural to me. Nothing about parenting is easy. There is no real book you can read that will tell you exactly what you need to know. And I learn something new every day. But I do believe if you put your heart into it, it can be the best thing you have ever experienced. It has been for me anyways.
I have to say that all of this has been easier for me because I have an amazing teammate. For the first time in my life I am the other half of a healthily, exciting, emotional, and joyful relationship. Meeting Tony was one of the happiest times of my life. And the fact that we have spent this year growing closer and further committing ourselves to another and to Leityn has been wonderful. I know I brag on him a lot but that is because I know he is rare and I know how lucky I am that I get to share my life with him. It's not every day that you find a man that loves to cook, do laundry, wash dishes, change diapers, clean the car, and all those other household duties we usually have to beg a man to do. He's always willing and ready when I need him. And most of you know, he is an amazing cook. I mean I love to cook myself, but when I realized I enjoyed his food more and I got to relax while he was in the kitchen; it was like a two for one deal. But, I don't just love him for all the things he does for me. He is my best friend. We always say "not only do I love you, but I like you as well." He respects me as a person and as a woman. He strives for my well-being. There are not too many things about Tony I dislike. When we are together I feel like a teenager again. We still get excited when we see each other and miss one another when we are away. We have fun together, we share the same interest, and we want the same things in life. I can hardly put into words what an amazing father he is to Leityn. To see the bond between a father and son is amazing but they truly are best buddies. I told him the other day that I think Leityn likes him more than me, he agreed. He does what it takes to ensure that Leityn and I are taken care of each and every day. And most importantly, he puts God first. I pray to God that He continues to lead us in our relationship and before long we can honor our love before him and spend the rest of our lives making one another happy.
I have written about hitting a rough patch earlier in the year and that ultimately lead me to pursue a deeper relationship with God. And that has been very life changing for me. I feels good to have so much confidence in my relationship with God and know in my heart that all the things listed above are because of Him and his son, Jesus Christ. Being baptized in water and by the Holy Ghost the day before my 30th birthday was the most spiritual experience of my life. It's hard to put something like that into words. But I do know without a doubt that My God loves me and that he sent his son Jesus to make all of this possible. And despite my past mistakes and the ones I will make in the future, as long as I seek him I will receive his loving Grace in return. We have committed to the 12-week School of Discipleship at Free Chapel, and I am looking forward to experiencing this with Tony and Lindsey. We are also going to start our first 21-day fast with the church on the 9th. And I am emotionally prepared for this to be physically challenging, while spiritually connecting with God in ways I've never experienced before.
The past year was exciting all around. I got to go on family vacation with my mother and father and the rest of the family, for the first time since I was little. And I don't know if they will ever know how much that meant to us. I'm just grateful that my parents and step parents are able to put the past aside for a bright future as a family. This year has brought me closer to so many in my family and made me realize the true friendships I am so lucky to have. I know having Leityn brought a new brightness to our family and it feels so good seeing all the love everyone has for him. It's been another year of "just making it" financially. But, we never go without the things we need and most always have the things we want as well. We were able to do a lot of traveling to be with our family and friends. We had a few special trips that made our work weeks worth it. There were several months of sickness, dealing with my dental issues and Leityn being since through December. But all in all, we are all healthy. I know so many that have it worse than us so in moments that we aren't feeling well I just try to draw strength from the ones fighting a harder battle than us.
2011 is upon us and without a doubt or worry in my heart I am trusting, seeking, and praying for great things to happen for us. I really can't remember a year in the past when I was so excited about the things to come. I am not planning on getting rich, I am not planning on traveling the world, I am not planning on meeting someone famous. But I am planning to live everyday in God's will to the best of my ability. I am planning to seek God's word and apply it to my life. I am planning to center my family, finances, and future in God so that no matter what trials or tribulations we face this year and beyond, He will carry us through the storm of life.
"For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome."
